Sonic Adventures

No. This isn't a post about a little blue hedgehog.

Well, I was feeling very masochistic yesterday, and my girlfriend wanted food.

Where's the biggest collection of functionally retarded people?

So, I'm at Sonic on a Friday night, after homecoming

In Mineral Wells.

I know, I know, you're thinking "Why?"

I'm still asking myself that question.

So, we pull up, and begin to order.

*button press*

...
...
...

"Hi, Welcome to Sonic. How may I help you?"

"Yeah, I'd like a Number two with a Coke, and no veggies but lettuce on that burger, and instead of fries, I want tater tots."

...

...

Oh, come on, this ain't rocket surgery.

...

...

Miss, I think I need a new attendant, mine apparently had a brain overload with that last order.

...

...

Anyone wanna dial 911? I think we have an attendant who can't handle the concept of tater tots. Also, I think he's mildly retarded.

Finally, the speakers crackle to life.

"That's a number two, with Tomatoes, Pickles..."

Ok, maybe he's moderately retarded.

"... And no cheese?"

Functionally retarded.

Come on, you took that long, then you got my order wrong?

"And what to drink with that meal?"

"I already told you"

...

...

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear."

...

Ok, he's fuck-tarded.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have a HEADSET on, designed so that the order is the ONLY THING YOU HEAR? Maybe he couldn't hear me over the voices in his head.

It is Mineral Wells, wouldn't suprise me.

Luckily, I corrected him, our order came out all right.

Luckily. His mommy must have written it down for him in something other than red crayon.

God I hate fast food.